I have a new hero in Sarah Palin

Nina Fuller presenting Sarah Palin with an I Can Read, Too! reading program.

As a parent of not one, but two daughters with Down syndrome, I have a new hero in Sarah Palin. I, too, received a pre-natal diagnosis of Down syndrome when I was carrying my fourth child. Knowing full well my options, I chose life for the baby in my womb, even after my own life was significantly compromised. It was a win-win choice because today my daughter is a valuable member of our family, our community, and our nation. I also knew in advance of our second daughter's birth that she, too, would have Down syndrome.

Some who read this statement will immediately jump to the conclusion that I should have stopped having babies after my fourth child was born. I did. Our second daughter was scheduled to be aborted because her birthmother thought that was her only option after getting a pre-natal diagnosis of Down syndrome. Hours before the appointment to terminate the life growing within, she acknowledged that she did not want to parent but wanted to choose life for her baby. She learned of another choice she had instead of abortion: adoption. It really is a loving option. Several weeks later, she gave birth and I became a mother of a second beautiful baby girl who happens to have Down syndrome.

Approximately 1 in 700 babies born in the world has Down syndrome. The majority of people with Down syndrome have trisomy 21, or three entire copies of chromosome 21, which occurs randomly. We each have 23 pairs of chromosomes in every cell of our bodies, for a total of 46 chromosomes. A person with Down syndrome has 47 chromosomes. Whenever there is too much or too little genetic make up, growth and development are affected. Those who are born with Down syndrome typi cally have similar features which make that specific population the most misunderstood and most aborted people group on the planet. According to statistics, and thanks to the way a pre-natal diagnosis is typically delivered, up to 90 per cent of would-be parents opt to abort their pre-born babies with Down syndrome.

Thanks to advancement in science, medicine, government and family commitments, the myths and fallacies of Down syndrome from the past need to be deleted from our global thinking. Each human being has infinite potential if given opportunity. There is no valid reason for terminating a life just because someone fears the future.

Seeing Trig Palin on national television, with his chubby baby cheeks and epicanthal folds in his beautiful, inquisitive eyes, causes my heart to swell with renewed love for all babies. Every life is valuable, no matter how many chromosomes, no matter who the parents are, no matter what circumstances they might be born into. Whether the baby is birthed at forty-something or seventeen, as in the Palin women's cases, all moms should be heroes for choosing life. It's not alw ays the easiest choice but new life is always the right choice. Just ask my own two daughters.

Cuddle Time

Last night was one of those spaces in time every parent wants to gobble up and never forget. My daughters were fed, bathed, and in their jammies in plenty of time to peacefully read a couple of stories together. This doesn’t happen every night and it is a treat for all of us when it takes place.

Tess got to pick three books from her bookshelf and Hope was supposed to but got distracted (go figure). As I scooped up Hope and headed for the comfy couch in the family room, I saw Tess already propped and reading. I love seeing Tess read! It thrills my heart and soul to know that my daughter with Down syndrome has defied the experts of the past and CAN READ! It’s taken us a while to get her there, but with the continued efforts of some great teachers, caregivers and strong-willed parents, my 13 year old daughter is a READER!

Hope and I nestled in as Tess stopped for a moment, scooted over to my other side and we listened and enjoyed “Penny Love” by Lisa Soares Hale. Tess read about a little girl and her grandmother taking a walk in the park. They see a shiny brown penny and Grandma tells her little granddaughter to “Go and pick up the penny and know that Grandma loves you.” She does so and kisses her grandmother’s cheek, telling her “I love you, too, Grandma.” Grandma encourages the little girl to remember each time she finds a penny she will know that Grandma loves her. Through the years the girl grows up, finds lots of pennies along the way and saves those pennies. Each time, even though Grandma is not there, she looks heavenward and whispers “I love you, too, Grandma.” Reminiscent of “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch, the story continues through the years as the little girl becomes a grandmother herself.

As Tess read this tender story out loud, something happened on our couch, in the room and throughout our home. A warm, loving glow began to hover over us like a snuggle blanket. The girls, especially Hope, sat attentive to the story. Hope gently leaned over to kiss her sister and me on the cheek several times and all was right with the world for those precious few minutes of togetherness. It was all because of a book!

Moms, take time – make time – to read with your children for the pleasure of it! If you are like me, you want to read to your children so they will become readers. You want to make sure that you get those programmed calendar minutes in each day to work on reading skills. “Practice! Practice! Practice! Recite! Recite! Recite! Flash! Flash! Flash! Quiz! Quiz! Quiz!” becomes the mantra of a mother’s mind.

I want to encourage you to sit down, reclaim peace in your home, and read with your children for the pure joy of being together. Whether you read or your emerging reader becomes the orator, enjoy those uncomplicated moments of innocence and love snuggled together.

Looking forward to cuddle time, I am Nina

I'm FREE...at least til 3:30!

As I was folding laundry this morning, it dawned on me that for the first time in five years I wasn’t feeling disjointed (for the most part!). I have a tendency to be hyper-vigilant about my responsibilities, especially when it comes to my kids and my household. So, as I was holed up in the laundry room, neatly folding each piece of warm clothing I removed from the dryer, I realized I wasn’t in a panicked rush to go check on my daughter. If I am in the laundry room, it is difficult to see or hear what is going on in the rest of the house. And that usually means trouble where Jillian is concerned!

Jillian was born with Down syndrome and we became her parents the day after her birth. She joined our family as a surprise, within weeks actually, of our decision to be available to adopt. Each of my other children took nine months to gestate in my body and brain. Jillian came along less than two months into our conception of adoption.

We learned right away that she knew exactly what she wanted, what she liked, what she disliked. She refused to be cuddled and cradled. Her preferred position was facing forward even to take her bottle. She didn’t want to be coddled and always was interested in being part of the action, if not being the action, herself! I remember the first time I had to tell my curious toddler “no” she got mad at me and cried hard and loud. “I wonder if this is how her personality will always be” I said to myself. So far, it is on target.

Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that it is not because Jillian has Down syndrome that she is this way. It’s simply part of her genetic make up. Her birthparents come by it naturally, and so do her adoptive parents! She is destined to be a girl with a strong will, strong opinions and strong emotions. I’m up for the challenge, at least most of the time.

This morning in the laundry room marks a transition in my own life. I’ve been on “high alert” for five-plus-years. My older daughter, Tess, is now thirteen and also has Down syndrome. Tess was not nearly as intense as Jillian but we did have several years of concentrated vigilance with her, too. And now, she is a teenage girl and is right on target with all of the issues teen girls have!
Today the experience I had was a sense of personal relief. Mind you, I truly do miss my girls, but it is so very nice to know they are being well cared for over the next several hours. That means I can sit here and write my thoughts to you, my circle of sisterhood. You KNOW what I’m talkin’ about! It also means that I might get the bathroom cleaned and the sheets washed and the bed made before they come home this afternoon! It means that I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that yogurt won’t get smeared into the new couch or that a gallon of lemonade won’t be independently spilled all over the kitchen floor. It also means there won’t be any sibling bickering going on until around 3:30 today. Isn’t it amazing how two girls who are in need of weekly speech therapy can end up in an embittered barrage of words? The words aren’t literally cruel. How can they be? I hear phrases like “You turkey sandwich” and “Pokey head.” One of my favorites that always elicited a stifled laugh: “You cottage cheese breath.” I won’t be hearing their sweet little voices communicating affectively until this afternoon.

Kind of makes me want to hop in the car and go visit school today. Oh, wait! No, the feeling has faded and I’m ready to go out to lunch with a friend. The laundry is going to have to wait. The bathrooms can wait another day. I’M FREE….at least til 3:30!

Happy thoughts from me to you,

Nina