As I was folding laundry this morning, it dawned on me that for the first time in five years I wasn’t feeling disjointed (for the most part!). I have a tendency to be hyper-vigilant about my responsibilities, especially when it comes to my kids and my household. So, as I was holed up in the laundry room, neatly folding each piece of warm clothing I removed from the dryer, I realized I wasn’t in a panicked rush to go check on my daughter. If I am in the laundry room, it is difficult to see or hear what is going on in the rest of the house. And that usually means trouble where Jillian is concerned!
Jillian was born with Down syndrome and we became her parents the day after her birth. She joined our family as a surprise, within weeks actually, of our decision to be available to adopt. Each of my other children took nine months to gestate in my body and brain. Jillian came along less than two months into our conception of adoption.
We learned right away that she knew exactly what she wanted, what she liked, what she disliked. She refused to be cuddled and cradled. Her preferred position was facing forward even to take her bottle. She didn’t want to be coddled and always was interested in being part of the action, if not being the action, herself! I remember the first time I had to tell my curious toddler “no” she got mad at me and cried hard and loud. “I wonder if this is how her personality will always be” I said to myself. So far, it is on target.
Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that it is not because Jillian has Down syndrome that she is this way. It’s simply part of her genetic make up. Her birthparents come by it naturally, and so do her adoptive parents! She is destined to be a girl with a strong will, strong opinions and strong emotions. I’m up for the challenge, at least most of the time.
This morning in the laundry room marks a transition in my own life. I’ve been on “high alert” for five-plus-years. My older daughter, Tess, is now thirteen and also has Down syndrome. Tess was not nearly as intense as Jillian but we did have several years of concentrated vigilance with her, too. And now, she is a teenage girl and is right on target with all of the issues teen girls have!
Today the experience I had was a sense of personal relief. Mind you, I truly do miss my girls, but it is so very nice to know they are being well cared for over the next several hours. That means I can sit here and write my thoughts to you, my circle of sisterhood. You KNOW what I’m talkin’ about! It also means that I might get the bathroom cleaned and the sheets washed and the bed made before they come home this afternoon! It means that I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that yogurt won’t get smeared into the new couch or that a gallon of lemonade won’t be independently spilled all over the kitchen floor. It also means there won’t be any sibling bickering going on until around 3:30 today. Isn’t it amazing how two girls who are in need of weekly speech therapy can end up in an embittered barrage of words? The words aren’t literally cruel. How can they be? I hear phrases like “You turkey sandwich” and “Pokey head.” One of my favorites that always elicited a stifled laugh: “You cottage cheese breath.” I won’t be hearing their sweet little voices communicating affectively until this afternoon.
Kind of makes me want to hop in the car and go visit school today. Oh, wait! No, the feeling has faded and I’m ready to go out to lunch with a friend. The laundry is going to have to wait. The bathrooms can wait another day. I’M FREE….at least til 3:30!
Happy thoughts from me to you,
Nina
Jillian was born with Down syndrome and we became her parents the day after her birth. She joined our family as a surprise, within weeks actually, of our decision to be available to adopt. Each of my other children took nine months to gestate in my body and brain. Jillian came along less than two months into our conception of adoption.
We learned right away that she knew exactly what she wanted, what she liked, what she disliked. She refused to be cuddled and cradled. Her preferred position was facing forward even to take her bottle. She didn’t want to be coddled and always was interested in being part of the action, if not being the action, herself! I remember the first time I had to tell my curious toddler “no” she got mad at me and cried hard and loud. “I wonder if this is how her personality will always be” I said to myself. So far, it is on target.
Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that it is not because Jillian has Down syndrome that she is this way. It’s simply part of her genetic make up. Her birthparents come by it naturally, and so do her adoptive parents! She is destined to be a girl with a strong will, strong opinions and strong emotions. I’m up for the challenge, at least most of the time.
This morning in the laundry room marks a transition in my own life. I’ve been on “high alert” for five-plus-years. My older daughter, Tess, is now thirteen and also has Down syndrome. Tess was not nearly as intense as Jillian but we did have several years of concentrated vigilance with her, too. And now, she is a teenage girl and is right on target with all of the issues teen girls have!
Today the experience I had was a sense of personal relief. Mind you, I truly do miss my girls, but it is so very nice to know they are being well cared for over the next several hours. That means I can sit here and write my thoughts to you, my circle of sisterhood. You KNOW what I’m talkin’ about! It also means that I might get the bathroom cleaned and the sheets washed and the bed made before they come home this afternoon! It means that I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that yogurt won’t get smeared into the new couch or that a gallon of lemonade won’t be independently spilled all over the kitchen floor. It also means there won’t be any sibling bickering going on until around 3:30 today. Isn’t it amazing how two girls who are in need of weekly speech therapy can end up in an embittered barrage of words? The words aren’t literally cruel. How can they be? I hear phrases like “You turkey sandwich” and “Pokey head.” One of my favorites that always elicited a stifled laugh: “You cottage cheese breath.” I won’t be hearing their sweet little voices communicating affectively until this afternoon.
Kind of makes me want to hop in the car and go visit school today. Oh, wait! No, the feeling has faded and I’m ready to go out to lunch with a friend. The laundry is going to have to wait. The bathrooms can wait another day. I’M FREE….at least til 3:30!
Happy thoughts from me to you,
Nina
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